Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
