you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize