yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
