i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
