She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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