I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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