dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
