u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
