Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
