pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
