'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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