So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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