Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
