So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
