hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
