I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
