There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
