I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
