The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
