Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
