This girl is more easily done than said...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
