come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
