I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
