i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
