you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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