So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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