New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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