his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
