Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
