oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
