I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
