only if we run a train.
done.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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