so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
