I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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