Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize