11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
