Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
