Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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