ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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