But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
