You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize