God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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