come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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