There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
