We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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