lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Mom said you looked used
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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