Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
