Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Randomize
