Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
