Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
