I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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