I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Randomize
